A year ago, we came home as a family of 3 for the first
time. It has been an extremely
challenging and beautiful year. Despite the hardships, it has been one of the
best years of my life. As an eternal optimist, I am always looking for the best
in any situation. This year has been no different. Despite challenges of a
fixer-upper, tantrums, night-terrors, coyote attacks, almost a dozen trips to
meet family, I have found joy in it so much. My heart has grown. And we enjoyed
so many little moments together.
In a lot of ways, we were well prepared for the changes
ahead of us. But there were so many things, despite years of research of adoption and parenting, that I had no idea
were coming.
I had no idea how many dishes I would clean on a daily
basis. So. Many. Dishes. There’s just no logic.
I had no idea how different adoption parenting would be. I
had heard stories and done the research. Living through it is a different
story. It can feel isolating and bewildering. Every misbehavior, every reaction
has to be interpreted through a different lens.
I had no idea how much I would cry. For an adopted child, their
story begins with tragedy and grief. Depending on his or her circumstances,
there can be years of trauma and loss. Loss of birth parents. Loss of foster
parents. Loss of friends. Loss of a loving family. There can be so many
different kinds of loss. When I watch my sweet child and think of those who
lost him, I weep. I weep for them and I weep for him.
I had no idea how much I would learn about PJ Masks. I can name the characters and sing the theme
song. I have even discussed the characters, at length, with other adults.
I had no idea how much adopting a preschooler would feel
like having a newborn. Because, at the end of the day, becoming a new parent is
just that. No matter the age of the child.
I had no idea how I would learn and grow. I had no idea how I would learn to sacrifice my
needs, my wants, even my need to please others, for my son’s protection and
well-being. Things that I struggled with for years just simply became unimportant.
And the things I loved, seemed to pale in comparison.
Our life has not been what I have expected. But it has meant
so much more. Awhile back, I wrote about a post about all the changes that we had
happened since moved to Georgia. Now, three years later, I am eager to know
what I will write in my next chapter of our journey.
