I had no idea... part 2

A year ago, we came home as a family of 3 for the first time.  It has been an extremely challenging and beautiful year. Despite the hardships, it has been one of the best years of my life. As an eternal optimist, I am always looking for the best in any situation. This year has been no different. Despite challenges of a fixer-upper, tantrums, night-terrors, coyote attacks, almost a dozen trips to meet family, I have found joy in it so much. My heart has grown. And we enjoyed so many little moments together.

In a lot of ways, we were well prepared for the changes ahead of us. But there were so many things, despite years of research of adoption and parenting, that I had no idea were coming.

I had no idea how many dishes I would clean on a daily basis. So. Many. Dishes. There’s just no logic.

I had no idea how different adoption parenting would be. I had heard stories and done the research. Living through it is a different story. It can feel isolating and bewildering. Every misbehavior, every reaction has to be interpreted through a different lens.

I had no idea how much I would cry. For an adopted child, their story begins with tragedy and grief. Depending on his or her circumstances, there can be years of trauma and loss. Loss of birth parents. Loss of foster parents. Loss of friends. Loss of a loving family. There can be so many different kinds of loss. When I watch my sweet child and think of those who lost him, I weep. I weep for them and I weep for him.

I had no idea how much I would learn about PJ Masks.  I can name the characters and sing the theme song. I have even discussed the characters, at length, with other adults.

I had no idea how much adopting a preschooler would feel like having a newborn. Because, at the end of the day, becoming a new parent is just that. No matter the age of the child.

I had no idea how I would learn and grow.  I had no idea how I would learn to sacrifice my needs, my wants, even my need to please others, for my son’s protection and well-being. Things that I struggled with for years just simply became unimportant. And the things I loved, seemed to pale in comparison.

Our life has not been what I have expected. But it has meant so much more. Awhile back, I wrote about a post about all the changes that we had happened since moved to Georgia. Now, three years later, I am eager to know what I will write in my next chapter of our journey.